Days 96 & 97

Altogether now!! Take a deep breath, let it out, and say: "I told you so!" (meaning all who told me to "get more rest before Stan came home....." I am so very tired.)

Maybe I'll quit counting the days now..... or just do a weekly update.... each day runs into another. (Listen to me, and it's only been one week.) There is always something going on....like today! Three different Home Health gals came. Nurse at 1:30 overlapped with aide at 2:15 who overlapped with speech therapist at 3. It makes for a busy day and a tiring one for Stan, especially.

Sunday I managed to change him a couple of times by myself...sheets and all....while the others were at church. In the afternoon, Brian, Angie, and Isaac stayed with Stan while I did some needed shopping and mailing. Phil and Pete took part in the church progressive dinner event. (Between Church and the dinner, we all worked together to accomplish a commode session. This was no simple task for anyone, least of all Stan.)
re: the mailing....(The valentine cards are sent, but I still have the last of the Christmas cards to mail. They are the ones that need letters inserted for my "old fashioned NON computer" friends. I still have friends who don't know about Stan because I don't have a letter writing program in this computer and don't seem to sit long enough to hand write them.)

One thing that may come out of all this.... Perhaps we can invent some appliances / furniture etc that will make life easier for others. Pete is insisting he will build a bed that makes turning Stan easier on him and on me. This is a major task and has given me a "permanent" backache. And even when it is two or three of us doing it, he cries out in pain. There has to be an easier, less invasive way!!

Did I tell you that the receptionist at Paul's Body Shop GAVE me her portable food processor? It works great. The first thing we pureed was a piece of taco pizza. Today I did some beef stew and it was like magic!! I have been putting his meds in baby food fruit and then in his tube. They seem to mix better into the fruit than into water and it flows through the tube just fine.

There are so many things I still have to learn. Supplies, for instance. I did find some much better pants and liners....bless WalMart!! I am hoping this will give my washing machine a rest.

Today I had to run to Carr's between the therapist leaving and dinnertime. It takes three of the smaller syringes each day for Stan's insulin, and we only initially bought two packs of ten. WalMart Pharmacy is closed on Sunday, so I failed to get any yesterday. Carrs told me that insurance might pay for them if I have a prescription, so I intend to get one. I have the prescriptions for the two kinds of insulin, so you would think that would mean I need syringes?? right!!

When Stan came home, one of his prescriptions was for a stool softener. Well...what was filled was gel caps that do not smash up, and he cannot swallow them...so as I think I already told you, we returned them and Fred's had to order it in liquid. Well... a tiny bottle that was a one day supply cost over ten dollars. I gave him less and made it last two days...but still a major expense. I asked Carrs if there was anything they had that was the same ingredient. Two of the pharmacists tried to find anything ... including calling other stores for information, but it seemed to "no avail." I got my syringes and went shopping for some groceries. Fortunately, I hadn't left the store yet, because I heard a page for the person requesting for Stan Knowlton please return to the pharmacy. They had found a generic bottle that is 473 ml (he takes 30ml per day) and it only costs $4.93!!! They only had one bottle but are ordering more for me. I truly thanked them for their extra effort to help me.

The wind howled for two nights, the snow is now mostly slush and ice. The Carr's parking lot required either a swim suit or hip waders to maneuver. In fact, I changed my first parking place for another because the water was so deep by my car door.

Pete seems to have inherited my penchant for bloody noses, and is having a terrible time getting his under control. He really hasn't been feeling up to par today after a really bad one.

Stan does love company, and for those of you close enough to come visit, please feel welcome to do so. It might be for your "convenience" to call first. We are "always" here (except for that rare case when I will have to take him to see a doctor....a task I dread and haven't figured out the how of, yet.) The inconvenient thing would be if you came during a Home Health visit....they are either checking his vitals, helping bathe him, doing exercises with him that require his input.... so you might want to miss coming while they are here. Otherwise, just come to the front door, and Stan is all set up right there! Like he says, "I'll be right here."

Everyday I find new things that are changed forever in my life. But at least ONE thing is now okay. While Stan was "sleeping" it seemed I discovered dozens of things I needed to ask, that only HE knew the answer to. At least now, he CAN answer them. And he does....his memory is fantastic. Pete needed an eyeglass repair kit today. He asked me where it would be, and since I don't do the repairs, I had no idea...........or rather, my IDEA was for him to ask his dad. He did...and BINGO! Stan knew. Andy said there were NO switch plate covers in the house (when they were getting the turret room ready for Stan.) I insisted there had to be....Stan piped up and told Andy exactly where to look. Someone still needs to write down his fudge recipe and directions. This is the first Christmas without it since he took over the job of making it more than 40 years ago. Little things... like eating a hot dog in Costco by myself instead of with him....and thinking, "I may never....." can cause an overwhelming sadness. Before he "woke up" I dispared over an outfit that he might never see me wear. Now I need to lose the weight required to wear it, so he CAN see me wear it!! (The ball is in MY court now!!!)

The moral to that last paragraph is: make each moment with your loved one count, as we certainly never know when it will be our last....

On a lighter note.... I am becoming a VERY accomplished and efficient pill crusher, tube feeder, and shot giver! Who says you can't teach an "old dog" new tricks!!!!

As Stan would say..."You're getting silly. Go to bed." So good night all...

Love, M


Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.



"If God is for us, who can be against us?"



(Romans 8:31)