Hmmmm....I just came over to the computer to write an update so I could take my achy self to bed....and found Kathy wrote one for me!! And I certainly can't improve on it............so here it is!!!!
Love, M
p.s. He joined Deryl, John T., and Rick E. and me in telling "Bible" jokes today, too. Like "How many did "milk a bear" ? (Milcah bore 8 sons!!) or Who had NO parents? (Joshua, he was the son of Nun.) How do we know there were cars in Bible times? The Bible says the apostles were all in "one Accord." Where is there a reference to playing tennis in the Bible? (Moses served in Pharoah's court.) and on and on....and Stan was sharper than the rest of us!!
Soooooooo, with that...here is Kathy's update!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 4 Jan 2008 22:46:13 -0800
From: kc_icewoman@yahoo.com
Subject: My "Stan" update...
To: orlaska@hotmail.com
Hi Madeleine....
Oh boy...I get to give you an update...
Stan and I had a great conversation tonight. He told me jokes, chatted with me, and we had a good old time.
We were talking about his stroke and the miracle God has done in his life...then Stan said, "3 strokes and you're out" He really had Brian and me laughing with that one.
Then ... we were talking about how you and I biked together a few years ago and Brian and I were trying to remember how many speeds your bike had....We were guessing 3...then Stan says in a loud voice "1"...
Then I asked him if he remembered the place we all took that hike a few years back...I honestly couldn't remember the name of the place...Stan just looked at me like I was the one that had the stroke and said, "Thunder-bird Falls".
Then we chatted about God, the Church and the power of prayer. It was a really GREAT conversation. I had chills.... During the conversation he showed memory, humor, thought, etc. He is mentally 100% back !!!!! Talk about the power of prayer.
I told Stan that I've been in the medical field for 35 years...and he is only the second person to prove me wrong...and I am so glad he did !!!! I never thought he would mentally come back like he has....
I sure hope you are feeling better soon. If you have what has been going around...you need to stay in bed for the next 2 days...or you will never get well, worse, you could give it to Stan. Please take care of yourself....So many people need you and depend on you (like it or not)
When I left Stan's room Brian was exercising his legs and arms....
Pete and Issac were heading out for pizza and then coming back for the night.
Sweet dreams...
Kathy
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
Day 51
Each day does continue to bring new advances!! Today Stan had his teeth in and his speech device in for several hours. He even asked for his teeth in again later in the day. The speech therapist gave permission for him to have ice chips...IF he was awake, sitting up, and has his device in...and if the "trial" is stopped if he coughs or chokes. He wants his teeth in so he can chew the ice. They seem to fit just fine....which is a real blessing.
Tonight little Shelby was visiting and getting brave enough to watch and question things that were going on. When the nurse was suctioning Stan's trach, she wanted to know what was happening. Her Papa Deryl (shame on him!!) told her that they were pulling out all the bad stuff. She promptly said, "Mr. Stan doesn't have any bad stuff in him." (Mr. Stan smiled!!!)
I seem to have caught up with the fever bug that Andy's family had....or one of my own... so really am going to make this short and go to bed with a couple of excedrin for company.
Oh.... For those who wonder about Stan's headaches... I would be amazed if he had no headache.... His brain is still recovering from all the bleed and swelling...so there is still an abundance of pressure in there. It seems to be helped with tylenol, and sometimes with oxycodone. He is getting where he doesn't like us all to leave at night, so I think Pete is going to try to spend the night with him and then sleep during the day. Bless him. It is hard to leave him with him wanting us there.
Stan wants a drink of Coke!!! All in good time, we tell him.
Love, M
Tonight little Shelby was visiting and getting brave enough to watch and question things that were going on. When the nurse was suctioning Stan's trach, she wanted to know what was happening. Her Papa Deryl (shame on him!!) told her that they were pulling out all the bad stuff. She promptly said, "Mr. Stan doesn't have any bad stuff in him." (Mr. Stan smiled!!!)
I seem to have caught up with the fever bug that Andy's family had....or one of my own... so really am going to make this short and go to bed with a couple of excedrin for company.
Oh.... For those who wonder about Stan's headaches... I would be amazed if he had no headache.... His brain is still recovering from all the bleed and swelling...so there is still an abundance of pressure in there. It seems to be helped with tylenol, and sometimes with oxycodone. He is getting where he doesn't like us all to leave at night, so I think Pete is going to try to spend the night with him and then sleep during the day. Bless him. It is hard to leave him with him wanting us there.
Stan wants a drink of Coke!!! All in good time, we tell him.
Love, M
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Day 50
I got started a little late today....well, actually, my day started early, but my trip to the hosp. was late. I managed to gather all the 49 emails together and put them in a folder so I will have them. Then I did dishes and other neglected house hold things.............
I found Stan asleep, but with his teeth IN. I had taken them yesterday and left them where I hoped the speech therapist would find them. She did, but I don't know how or if they helped. His speak device was out. It wasn't too long before he woke and wanted the teeth out, too. I took them out. His normal routine at home is to have them out half the time.
His mouth does get dry, so I need to remember to "wet his whistle" more often.
We carried on a pretty good conversation for over an hour once he woke up. He did tell me he had a number ten head ache......after telling me he "needed some pain pills." That was about 1 p.m. He was given oxycodone, and he still stayed awake for another hour or so, but then he went to sleep, and was mostly asleep until about 9 tonight. At 10ish he said he had another bad (10) headache, so I told the nurse. I waited until he had the meds and they were beginning to take affect, and then I headed home. The boys (Andy, Pete, and Isaac) got to the hosp. about 7, I think. Brian came from work just after they got there and did the exercises on Stan's left side. I met the new doctor about 8, and asked about the clot. She said it is safe to do some "work" on his right side now. I don't fully understand the whole business....like, it could take a month or a year for the clot to dissolve or break up, but the danger is quite small now of its breaking off and going to his lungs or heart since he's been on blood thinner for five days. I sure hope she is right.
The kids fixed up pictures on the lap top computer, and were showing them to him when I left. There was talk of showing him some Looney Tunes, too. He does love them!!
They do say "laughter is the best medicine." He might be walking by tomorrow!!!
He did move his left foot in the night when Andy was there (after he got off work at 2:30 a.m.). And I saw him move it once today. The question is, is this "intelligent" movement or a spasm??
Please pray for him to have all the patience he needs to endure life right now. There are so many things he now wants to do, and can't yet.........going to the bathroom is a biggie!! Scratching his nose, he has conquered! Talking is a real chore, but he is DOING it!! Only, I can't always understand him, and sometimes it take 3 or 4 repeats....and I know that is no fun for him. He has a swet spirit, but I want it to stay that way!
Thanks so much.........Love, m
I found Stan asleep, but with his teeth IN. I had taken them yesterday and left them where I hoped the speech therapist would find them. She did, but I don't know how or if they helped. His speak device was out. It wasn't too long before he woke and wanted the teeth out, too. I took them out. His normal routine at home is to have them out half the time.
His mouth does get dry, so I need to remember to "wet his whistle" more often.
We carried on a pretty good conversation for over an hour once he woke up. He did tell me he had a number ten head ache......after telling me he "needed some pain pills." That was about 1 p.m. He was given oxycodone, and he still stayed awake for another hour or so, but then he went to sleep, and was mostly asleep until about 9 tonight. At 10ish he said he had another bad (10) headache, so I told the nurse. I waited until he had the meds and they were beginning to take affect, and then I headed home. The boys (Andy, Pete, and Isaac) got to the hosp. about 7, I think. Brian came from work just after they got there and did the exercises on Stan's left side. I met the new doctor about 8, and asked about the clot. She said it is safe to do some "work" on his right side now. I don't fully understand the whole business....like, it could take a month or a year for the clot to dissolve or break up, but the danger is quite small now of its breaking off and going to his lungs or heart since he's been on blood thinner for five days. I sure hope she is right.
The kids fixed up pictures on the lap top computer, and were showing them to him when I left. There was talk of showing him some Looney Tunes, too. He does love them!!
They do say "laughter is the best medicine." He might be walking by tomorrow!!!
He did move his left foot in the night when Andy was there (after he got off work at 2:30 a.m.). And I saw him move it once today. The question is, is this "intelligent" movement or a spasm??
Please pray for him to have all the patience he needs to endure life right now. There are so many things he now wants to do, and can't yet.........going to the bathroom is a biggie!! Scratching his nose, he has conquered! Talking is a real chore, but he is DOING it!! Only, I can't always understand him, and sometimes it take 3 or 4 repeats....and I know that is no fun for him. He has a swet spirit, but I want it to stay that way!
Thanks so much.........Love, m
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Day 49
In just a few hours it will have been an entire 49 days (seven weeks) from the day and time Stan's stroke occurred. SEVEN weeks!!!But it is that 7th week that has brought so much good news. (7 is a very Biblical number!! Wonder if God planned his eye opening that way!)
Well, today started off kind of cute and nervously..............when I went to start the car and get the paper out of the box....I had to tell Ms. Moose I was just going to get my paper and then I would be out of her way. She looked at me, but decided my bushes were much more interesting and tasty.
It was a bit of a shock............why, I don't know, as we have lots of moose come to visit.............but it was a bit of a shock to have to almost drive over her back feet to get out of my driveway. I was just glad she didn't mind sharing my driveway with me. A little closer than I wanted, when I got the paper.
My jaunts to and from the hospital each WINTER day are all "packed full of excitement and adventure!" I saw a grouse in the road one day, I often have had NEW snow to "plow" through, or icy roads that make cars go "sssssssslide" and your heart go "thump thump." I've had sons, grandsons, and granddaughters and maybe even a daughter in law, go ahead of me at night and clean my car off. I've had my own share of times that I was the cleaner off-er. I've had minus temps, single digit temps, teens, 20s, and even 30 to 40 temps during the past 49 days. Even tho there have been two or more incidences of BEARS out and about this late...I haven't got to see one yet! I turned my lights off driving home last night (Monday) (only on MY road!) to check out the visibility. It is so neat. I could actually see BETTER than with my lights on! No kidding.. but I had to turn them on in case someone would come and not be able to see me. I used to do this coming home from work in the wee hours in winter. Where is that "young lady" who used to be so scared to drive in ice or snow that she moaned and felt like she was having a heart attack??? I am glad she is no longer with me. AAAAAHHH...I am an Alaskan!!
Pete was with Stan when I got there. Stan had his speaking device in place, but I couldn't get him to say much, and when he did, he didn't open his mouth enough to let the words form. He went to sleep for a while, and I settled down with the paper. Pete had gone outside to talk on his cell phone where there is better reception. My (Stan's) cell phone rang. It was Danny (his "baby" brother). We chatted a bit, the nurse came in and woke Stan, so I asked Danny if he would like to talk to Stan. I held the phone up to Stan's ear, asked him if he could tell who was talking to him, and he answered yes. Then he spoke, "I love you guys." Wow...Danny heard it as plain as day. He said, "I've got to call Chuck." When he called back later on the room phone, he said he and Chuck have tickets to come January 11. They said they would be on a plane when they knew Stan would recognize them. He certainly WILL!
Pete and I went to get something to eat, and when we got back Stan's device was out and he seemed depressed. He wouldn't talk to me or really look at me, so I asked if he was mad at me. He shook his head "no." I couldn't get him to open his mouth. The RT came and asked if he wanted his speaking thing back in, and he was decisive with his "no." After she'd asked 2 or 3 times and he had refused 2 or 3 times, she told him she needed to put it in for a while.
Kathy came. Don and Nita Meierhoff came. Kathy decided to "quiz" Stan...but he was "ready" for her!! She asked him what state he was in. He didn't disappoint me... I KNEW what his answer would be in "normal" times. He piped right up with, "Confusion."
He did have a problem with the year, even tho it had only been a little while since I had told him. He went back wards to 2006.... But counting was his only mental weakness we have seen so far. If he were asked to squeeze once for yes, he might squeeze half a dozen times. We won't hold this agains him, huh!!
He watched some football on TV....a first in over 49 days. I also gave him a little "lick" of his Christmas gift chocolate bar....and he loved it...and he smiled and looked pleased. The nurse and I had discussed this a bit the day before, and she said she'd "never tell." It was barely a lick...he wanted to Bite, but I wouldn't let him. I don't want any choking or aspirating going on. We did hear that he "failed" his ice chip test the day before. He asked for something cold to drink, but he just isn't able to do that yet. Pete does a good job of "wetting his whistle" but we have to be careful until he can swallow better before giving him the longed for drink.
They have upped his feeding "speed" to 90 from 80. He is malnourished according to tests they do on him. They are giving stuff with more protein now, but it is also thicker and jams the pump. It has kept them busy all day, and us listening to the thing beep beep beep.
He kept asking to have the speaking device removed. It bugged him (his words) and it was "a pain in the neck" (his words....and quite a pun, since it is in his neck!). I truly thought it was "just' for talking. Turns out, it has a needed physical function. It is used in the transition from Christmas to a new term in school...Oh OH...guess I am sleepy....
I'll try that again...it is needed to help wean him off the trach. It makes breathing more difficult...makes him use more muscle to breathe....being able to talk is a nice side line. He has been breathing thru his trach for about 3 weeks, and before that the vent did his breathing for him. With this on, HE has to do the breathing ... thru his mouth and nose. Not having air moving thru them for 7 weeks, this is dry and hurts etc......
So it may become difficult to wean him off the bottle after they're...OH, bother, there I go again.
I really need to go to bed!! I thought I could tell you ALL about today...well, I have managed to say most everything ... so I'll say good night, now!
Love you all........... OOOOH, I was asked about his ability to see.......I'll try to address that before I write any more silly things.
I took his glasses today and he wore them for a few hours. He didn't seem to be able to focus using both eyes. I'm not sure of this yet. I need to experiment more tomorrow. He does see.......but we aren't sure how well or clear he sees. I'll try to find out. I guess we haven't checked that out. And SOOOOOOOOOO OFF to bed NOW! I sure hope I haven't said too many weird things in the email!
Love, M
Well, today started off kind of cute and nervously..............when I went to start the car and get the paper out of the box....I had to tell Ms. Moose I was just going to get my paper and then I would be out of her way. She looked at me, but decided my bushes were much more interesting and tasty.
It was a bit of a shock............why, I don't know, as we have lots of moose come to visit.............but it was a bit of a shock to have to almost drive over her back feet to get out of my driveway. I was just glad she didn't mind sharing my driveway with me. A little closer than I wanted, when I got the paper.
My jaunts to and from the hospital each WINTER day are all "packed full of excitement and adventure!" I saw a grouse in the road one day, I often have had NEW snow to "plow" through, or icy roads that make cars go "sssssssslide" and your heart go "thump thump." I've had sons, grandsons, and granddaughters and maybe even a daughter in law, go ahead of me at night and clean my car off. I've had my own share of times that I was the cleaner off-er. I've had minus temps, single digit temps, teens, 20s, and even 30 to 40 temps during the past 49 days. Even tho there have been two or more incidences of BEARS out and about this late...I haven't got to see one yet! I turned my lights off driving home last night (Monday) (only on MY road!) to check out the visibility. It is so neat. I could actually see BETTER than with my lights on! No kidding.. but I had to turn them on in case someone would come and not be able to see me. I used to do this coming home from work in the wee hours in winter. Where is that "young lady" who used to be so scared to drive in ice or snow that she moaned and felt like she was having a heart attack??? I am glad she is no longer with me. AAAAAHHH...I am an Alaskan!!
Pete was with Stan when I got there. Stan had his speaking device in place, but I couldn't get him to say much, and when he did, he didn't open his mouth enough to let the words form. He went to sleep for a while, and I settled down with the paper. Pete had gone outside to talk on his cell phone where there is better reception. My (Stan's) cell phone rang. It was Danny (his "baby" brother). We chatted a bit, the nurse came in and woke Stan, so I asked Danny if he would like to talk to Stan. I held the phone up to Stan's ear, asked him if he could tell who was talking to him, and he answered yes. Then he spoke, "I love you guys." Wow...Danny heard it as plain as day. He said, "I've got to call Chuck." When he called back later on the room phone, he said he and Chuck have tickets to come January 11. They said they would be on a plane when they knew Stan would recognize them. He certainly WILL!
Pete and I went to get something to eat, and when we got back Stan's device was out and he seemed depressed. He wouldn't talk to me or really look at me, so I asked if he was mad at me. He shook his head "no." I couldn't get him to open his mouth. The RT came and asked if he wanted his speaking thing back in, and he was decisive with his "no." After she'd asked 2 or 3 times and he had refused 2 or 3 times, she told him she needed to put it in for a while.
Kathy came. Don and Nita Meierhoff came. Kathy decided to "quiz" Stan...but he was "ready" for her!! She asked him what state he was in. He didn't disappoint me... I KNEW what his answer would be in "normal" times. He piped right up with, "Confusion."
He did have a problem with the year, even tho it had only been a little while since I had told him. He went back wards to 2006.... But counting was his only mental weakness we have seen so far. If he were asked to squeeze once for yes, he might squeeze half a dozen times. We won't hold this agains him, huh!!
He watched some football on TV....a first in over 49 days. I also gave him a little "lick" of his Christmas gift chocolate bar....and he loved it...and he smiled and looked pleased. The nurse and I had discussed this a bit the day before, and she said she'd "never tell." It was barely a lick...he wanted to Bite, but I wouldn't let him. I don't want any choking or aspirating going on. We did hear that he "failed" his ice chip test the day before. He asked for something cold to drink, but he just isn't able to do that yet. Pete does a good job of "wetting his whistle" but we have to be careful until he can swallow better before giving him the longed for drink.
They have upped his feeding "speed" to 90 from 80. He is malnourished according to tests they do on him. They are giving stuff with more protein now, but it is also thicker and jams the pump. It has kept them busy all day, and us listening to the thing beep beep beep.
He kept asking to have the speaking device removed. It bugged him (his words) and it was "a pain in the neck" (his words....and quite a pun, since it is in his neck!). I truly thought it was "just' for talking. Turns out, it has a needed physical function. It is used in the transition from Christmas to a new term in school...Oh OH...guess I am sleepy....
I'll try that again...it is needed to help wean him off the trach. It makes breathing more difficult...makes him use more muscle to breathe....being able to talk is a nice side line. He has been breathing thru his trach for about 3 weeks, and before that the vent did his breathing for him. With this on, HE has to do the breathing ... thru his mouth and nose. Not having air moving thru them for 7 weeks, this is dry and hurts etc......
So it may become difficult to wean him off the bottle after they're...OH, bother, there I go again.
I really need to go to bed!! I thought I could tell you ALL about today...well, I have managed to say most everything ... so I'll say good night, now!
Love you all........... OOOOH, I was asked about his ability to see.......I'll try to address that before I write any more silly things.
I took his glasses today and he wore them for a few hours. He didn't seem to be able to focus using both eyes. I'm not sure of this yet. I need to experiment more tomorrow. He does see.......but we aren't sure how well or clear he sees. I'll try to find out. I guess we haven't checked that out. And SOOOOOOOOOO OFF to bed NOW! I sure hope I haven't said too many weird things in the email!
Love, M
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Day 48
Tomorrow morning begins the 8th week since Stan's stroke!! He (and God) have certainly made believers out of a lot of doubters! When I think of some of his doctor's "predictions" I shudder and rejoice!!! Shudder, because one wanted to pull the feeding tube three weeks ago!! Rejoice that I said NO, and because God has restored him so much in the last week!! I was thinking this morning how wonderful it is going to be when Stan walks into Regional to see all those caregivers who came to love him. (And when he once again shows the power of prayer to the doctor at St. Elias who said he will never walk. )
It may take a while, but it is certainly not impossible!!
We had a huge milestone yesterday...........but I for one, was NOT surprised!! He has been saying words now and then for a few days!! The speech therapist put a device over his trach that allowed the air to pass by his vocal cords so that he could talk. He said several things............very coherently! When she asked him if there was anything he wanted to say, he said, "They won't let me sleep around here." (He was sound asleep, after having been awake for four hours and then "exercised" a bunch and tired out, when she came in and woke him up to do the therapy. There is always someone poking and prodding him.)
(Exercised, as in...being cleaned up, turned, etc. All that wears him out!)
He also is reaching with his right hand, and I saw him rub his right eye and itch his nose several times yesterday!! (Yesterday ...as in, Monday)
He does something new every day!!! PTL
It is morning again when I am writing this report. I stayed at the hospital until almost midnight. I was going to "Ring the New Year In" with him, bu since he was sleeping soundly, I just kissed him "Happy New Year" and decided to go home before all the party goers got back on the streets! I saw lots of fire works going off on my way home. It is so neat that people who don't even know Stan are celebrating his "victories."
Love, M
It may take a while, but it is certainly not impossible!!
We had a huge milestone yesterday...........but I for one, was NOT surprised!! He has been saying words now and then for a few days!! The speech therapist put a device over his trach that allowed the air to pass by his vocal cords so that he could talk. He said several things............very coherently! When she asked him if there was anything he wanted to say, he said, "They won't let me sleep around here." (He was sound asleep, after having been awake for four hours and then "exercised" a bunch and tired out, when she came in and woke him up to do the therapy. There is always someone poking and prodding him.)
(Exercised, as in...being cleaned up, turned, etc. All that wears him out!)
He also is reaching with his right hand, and I saw him rub his right eye and itch his nose several times yesterday!! (Yesterday ...as in, Monday)
He does something new every day!!! PTL
It is morning again when I am writing this report. I stayed at the hospital until almost midnight. I was going to "Ring the New Year In" with him, bu since he was sleeping soundly, I just kissed him "Happy New Year" and decided to go home before all the party goers got back on the streets! I saw lots of fire works going off on my way home. It is so neat that people who don't even know Stan are celebrating his "victories."
Love, M
Monday, December 31, 2007
Day 47
Sorry about it being "the next morning" again before writing! I stayed at the hospital until midnight. I think my husband knows I am about to leave, so "acts up." He was sleeping so peacefully about 8, so I considered going home EARLY, but about then his blood pressure was sky high, and I wanted to see it "down" before leaving. It was 204/100!! It did start coming down with meds, but the cuff he has on his left ankle only inflates every 30 minutes...
By the time it was "decent" (meaning, 173/88) the RT had come in and was planning to change the collar on his trach among other things. A very pleasant "young" man who was "fun" to talk to. When I mentioned the RT's at Regional, he said I must know Howdie. I said, "no, but my good friend does. She's a retired RT, but even though she was at Regional almost every day Stan was there, she never connected with Howdie." Then I asked him if HE knew Kathy C. and he said YES. He wants to be remembered to you, Kathy....He said he worked at Valley Hospital with you. His name is Ed.
I liked him. He let me be "in his way," respected what I had to offer and/or say, showed me how he changes the collar, etc.
After he finished, it was time to change Stan's position again (11:30) so I stayed to see him settled down again. Oh, he had woke up and told me he had a bad headache just before the RT came, so Ed chose to wait until the tylenol "kicked in" before doing all the stuff to him. (Stan looked like he hurt, so I told him to squeeze my hand if his head ache. It was a good hard multiple squeeze.)
He had been pretty sleepy all morning when I got there (about 8:30). He had been sleepy Saturday night, too, so I was a bit worried.... Andy, Pete, and Cannon arrived about 11:30 and the doctor asked us to go into an office room to talk. He very thoroughly went over Stan's condition and what DNR meant to him etc...for an hour...allowing us to ask questions and voice concerns. I was wishing we had a tape recorder. I did ask him for a copy of some of his notes, and was assured that would be fine....(they were waiting for me when we got back from IHOP.)
In the meeting with the doctor, Pete spoke out about the one aide. Later my friend Kathy was in Stan's room wondering where we were...Andy, Pete, Cannon, and I had gone to IHOP for something to eat. The nurse said she would speak to the aide about her refusing to let me "help" in any way. I guess
the nurse really stuck to her guns at every word the aide said. Kathy was in the room and heard the conversation. The nurse would tell her "to let Madeline help." The aide would use all kinds of excuses, but the nurse kept saying, " it is her husband, you let her help!" It was funny to act on this. She had no idea I was privy (through Kathy) to the conversation, and I didn't let on. First she "let me" take the wipes out of the package and open them all the way up and lay them across the end of the bed. I was a good girl, and didn't let on at all. The next time around I was promoted to helping her lift Stan.
Kathy had "found" us at IHOP and came over to join us. She brought a "McDonald's" toy in for Cannon....some funny looking figurine who shoots "tazors" (made of paper discs) from his appendage. It did NOT take long before Cannon learned to do it himself. When we got to the hospital he ran down the hallway saying, "Shoot Papa!" but when he got into "Papa's" room he stopped short and said, "Papa has an owie." It took him awhile, but soon he did decide it was okay to "shoot Papa." Then I took the toy and let Papa shoot Cannon. I held his "good" thumb on the button and pushed it down. The next time, I just put it near his thumb and he did the shooting!!! He even held his hand up to "ward off Cannon's shot!" So he "played" with Cannon. He also wiggled his right toes at Cannon a lot!!
Scott Toms leaves for Afghanistan today (31st) and he has always been "one of Stan's kids." It was great to have Scott come to tell Stan good bye. While he was there, I put his dad to work holding the digital picture frame that Andy had hooked up. It was neat to see Stan watch the photos as they each came up on the screen. One where he was wearing his shirt that is covered in animals, John asked if those were deer. I said they were elk or moose...and Stan SAID, "elk."
"We talked" together quietly after everyone left, and he was moved by how many people loved him...praying, visiting, emailing, etc.... Thank you all!!!
It is hard to leave when he is looking at me with loving eyes! And he DOES!! WOW...PTL!! It was all I really "asked" for!! Just to see his eyes open with recognition again. I am so anxious now to see each "new" thing he can do.
The doctor told us he would never walk again, will never be the dad or husband we had before, etc. I am not convinced of that. We had been told before that he probably would NOT wake up! And if he did, he probably wouldn't know us. So why should I get discouraged over this news?? I'll just trust God to give me what He chooses, and I'll be content.
No decision was made regarding the DNR. We'll talk with the other boys more first, but probably don't want Stan "coded" ....
The doctor did say that he is still very ill with multiple things wrong...pneumonia, clots, infection, the stroke, etc.... and that Stan could "throw him a curve ball" at any time. We did like and appreciate the doctor. Today he rotates out and a new one comes in to care for Stan. Like Kathy says, that is good because each new doc comes with a fresh look at the problems and thinks of other solutions that may help.
Well.... I better get going. It is almost 8 a.m.
Love, M
By the time it was "decent" (meaning, 173/88) the RT had come in and was planning to change the collar on his trach among other things. A very pleasant "young" man who was "fun" to talk to. When I mentioned the RT's at Regional, he said I must know Howdie. I said, "no, but my good friend does. She's a retired RT, but even though she was at Regional almost every day Stan was there, she never connected with Howdie." Then I asked him if HE knew Kathy C. and he said YES. He wants to be remembered to you, Kathy....He said he worked at Valley Hospital with you. His name is Ed.
I liked him. He let me be "in his way," respected what I had to offer and/or say, showed me how he changes the collar, etc.
After he finished, it was time to change Stan's position again (11:30) so I stayed to see him settled down again. Oh, he had woke up and told me he had a bad headache just before the RT came, so Ed chose to wait until the tylenol "kicked in" before doing all the stuff to him. (Stan looked like he hurt, so I told him to squeeze my hand if his head ache. It was a good hard multiple squeeze.)
He had been pretty sleepy all morning when I got there (about 8:30). He had been sleepy Saturday night, too, so I was a bit worried.... Andy, Pete, and Cannon arrived about 11:30 and the doctor asked us to go into an office room to talk. He very thoroughly went over Stan's condition and what DNR meant to him etc...for an hour...allowing us to ask questions and voice concerns. I was wishing we had a tape recorder. I did ask him for a copy of some of his notes, and was assured that would be fine....(they were waiting for me when we got back from IHOP.)
In the meeting with the doctor, Pete spoke out about the one aide. Later my friend Kathy was in Stan's room wondering where we were...Andy, Pete, Cannon, and I had gone to IHOP for something to eat. The nurse said she would speak to the aide about her refusing to let me "help" in any way. I guess
the nurse really stuck to her guns at every word the aide said. Kathy was in the room and heard the conversation. The nurse would tell her "to let Madeline help." The aide would use all kinds of excuses, but the nurse kept saying, " it is her husband, you let her help!" It was funny to act on this. She had no idea I was privy (through Kathy) to the conversation, and I didn't let on. First she "let me" take the wipes out of the package and open them all the way up and lay them across the end of the bed. I was a good girl, and didn't let on at all. The next time around I was promoted to helping her lift Stan.
Kathy had "found" us at IHOP and came over to join us. She brought a "McDonald's" toy in for Cannon....some funny looking figurine who shoots "tazors" (made of paper discs) from his appendage. It did NOT take long before Cannon learned to do it himself. When we got to the hospital he ran down the hallway saying, "Shoot Papa!" but when he got into "Papa's" room he stopped short and said, "Papa has an owie." It took him awhile, but soon he did decide it was okay to "shoot Papa." Then I took the toy and let Papa shoot Cannon. I held his "good" thumb on the button and pushed it down. The next time, I just put it near his thumb and he did the shooting!!! He even held his hand up to "ward off Cannon's shot!" So he "played" with Cannon. He also wiggled his right toes at Cannon a lot!!
Scott Toms leaves for Afghanistan today (31st) and he has always been "one of Stan's kids." It was great to have Scott come to tell Stan good bye. While he was there, I put his dad to work holding the digital picture frame that Andy had hooked up. It was neat to see Stan watch the photos as they each came up on the screen. One where he was wearing his shirt that is covered in animals, John asked if those were deer. I said they were elk or moose...and Stan SAID, "elk."
"We talked" together quietly after everyone left, and he was moved by how many people loved him...praying, visiting, emailing, etc.... Thank you all!!!
It is hard to leave when he is looking at me with loving eyes! And he DOES!! WOW...PTL!! It was all I really "asked" for!! Just to see his eyes open with recognition again. I am so anxious now to see each "new" thing he can do.
The doctor told us he would never walk again, will never be the dad or husband we had before, etc. I am not convinced of that. We had been told before that he probably would NOT wake up! And if he did, he probably wouldn't know us. So why should I get discouraged over this news?? I'll just trust God to give me what He chooses, and I'll be content.
No decision was made regarding the DNR. We'll talk with the other boys more first, but probably don't want Stan "coded" ....
The doctor did say that he is still very ill with multiple things wrong...pneumonia, clots, infection, the stroke, etc.... and that Stan could "throw him a curve ball" at any time. We did like and appreciate the doctor. Today he rotates out and a new one comes in to care for Stan. Like Kathy says, that is good because each new doc comes with a fresh look at the problems and thinks of other solutions that may help.
Well.... I better get going. It is almost 8 a.m.
Love, M
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Day 46
Today I found Stan quite sleepy. Sometimes I was scared, but I know that God said NOT to fear. I didn't leave tonight until 11:30 because his heart rate was playing tiddly winks with the numbers!! I wanted to be sure they would settle down, OR I was prepared to settle down there for the night. When I left his rate was in the 60s for about half an hour. About ten his monitor started buzzing too often. Whenever his rate dropped below fifty for more than a couple of beeps....the lowest I saw was 43. His blood pressure had been pretty high all last night and into the morning, so the doctor doubled his meds that are trying to control it and his heart rate. His "usual" heart rate is high...in the 90s always at home, and with meds in the hospital it has been anywhere from 80s to 200! 205 being the highest, and only for a short time, but often around 130....it is his A-fib doing that. But in the 40s is just as scary to me. His BP was WAY better with the meds, tho. Diastolic (bottom number) went to 135 for about ten minutes in the morning.... so they had to do something. When I left his BP was reading 138/70...
His sleepiness is a worry...but maybe it is a combo of being worn out from Friday's jaunt to Regional and back and all the meds he has been on today to counteract pain and high BP. The nurse gave him oxycodone twice for pain, and then Tylenol twice after that. I just get scared that the sleepiness could be symptom of another stroke, blood clot, or something. I'll take a cue from Scarlett and say, "Tomorrow is another day." Or better yet, from God's Word and keep my trust where it belongs!
We did "mouth" "I love you" to each other shortly after I got there this morning. Pete, Eric, and Isaac were there and the boys told me he kept saying "Mom" like he wondered where I was. I'll definitely get there sooner in the morning.
He also had a bit of an episode with his oxygen about six tonight. First, I didn't like the way the Aide had rolled him around with that "time bomb" clotted arm!! And when she settled him on that side, it did NOT look comfortable, but short of removing the pillows from under his other side, I was afraid to move his arm into a more comfortable position. Finally, I asked him if he hurt and he squeezed "yes." I asked him about his head and legs and his answers were "no." When I got to the arms, he indicated the right arm hurt...and he did want meds. I rang for the nurse, but before she came his oxygen buzzer started ringing....and his stats went down to 77! I went out to the nurse's station to get someone. I still can't believe they didn't come when I rang, or when his buzzer went off...by now, several times.
The (day) nurse and (day) RT came...and called the doctor. While they were trying all kinds of things, the phone rang, and it was the doctor. He told me he had told them a few things to try, and then proceeded to talk me "out of" taking him off DNR. We had agreed to DNR before he woke up at all, but said then that if he woke up and was "there" we wanted to remove it. We were assured that would be a "whole other ball game." But now while I am standing by Stan's bed holding his hand and watching his Oxygen level #s stay at 84 and below...no matter what the gals did... It was hard to concentrate on such an important decision over the phone or even listen as carefully as I needed to. In his defense, I suppose he didn't realize I was right in the center of the action!
After at least 30 minutes, 3 or 4 rough suctionings, a bagging, raising his oxygen to 100%, and I don't know what all else, one of the two decided to check his finger probe. It was on askew...as soon as it was corrected, his levels went up to 99! HELLO....that is definitely what I will check FIRST from now on!! The bagging and deep suctioning is hard on him! Maybe that is why he was so sound asleep for the rest of the time I was there. The nurse agreed with me that he was NOT comfortable the way he was lying, so she removed the pillows and we eased him onto his back.
Yesterday he started doing some funny breathing... kind of like the hiccups...but different. The RT last night (Friday) watched for quite awhile, and said she could not figure out what was going on. I told her he had done this twice during the day (Friday) but that the only thing similar was the hiccups he had while on the ventilator...before the trach. Each time after being suctioned, this stopped. So she suctioned, and VOILA ... it stopped again.
He started this again tonight after the heart rate drop started. The (night) RT came in, got worried first about the heart rate and went for the nurse. The (night) nurse came in and told me that she had called the doctor again, and as long as his BP stayed good and the heart rate didn't "stay" in the 40s, not to worry and he'd reassess him in the morning.
Then the RT came back and addressed the funny "double breathing" or hiccups, or whatever. I told her about the suctioning solution, but kind of hated to as he'd been through that so much already. But she did suction him, and again VOILA ... it stopped. She also had no idea what it is or what causes it. She said he was a bit "wheezy" in his chest and thought maybe that was it. ???? who knows.
So when I did leave tonight he was NOT "hiccuping," was sound asleep, and had a good BP, and his heart rate was mostly staying in the 60s.
Last night (Friday) the RT on duty also works at Regional. She said lots of the nurses were asking about him, and she wanted my permission to tell them. I gave her a huge "thumbs up." I had been wanting to let them know how he is progressing.... eyes open, saying words, nodding and shaking his head, and now even reaching with his right hand. And even throwing kisses!!! They will be so excited.
The doctor did say he would be glad to talk to the boys at 10 or 11 in the morning about the DNR if they wanted. I have talked to them and think I know what they want now. After he told me how really horrible Coding is, and Pete having witnessed it before and confirming what the doctor said... we will probably leave him with the DNR status. The doctor did say to me that if we took him OFF and he coded and we were in the room, he would not let us leave, but we would have to watch every thing he would have to do. He emphasized that if Stan coded, it would be because something catastrophic happened to him....like a clot to the lung or another bleed.
We are now up to 129 individual visitors.....most have come several times...but since we didn't keep track of who comes how often, I can't even guess at the number of VISITS he has had!!
It is "to bed" for me now. It is 3 a.m. and I am getting up by 7 for sure........
Love, M
His sleepiness is a worry...but maybe it is a combo of being worn out from Friday's jaunt to Regional and back and all the meds he has been on today to counteract pain and high BP. The nurse gave him oxycodone twice for pain, and then Tylenol twice after that. I just get scared that the sleepiness could be symptom of another stroke, blood clot, or something. I'll take a cue from Scarlett and say, "Tomorrow is another day." Or better yet, from God's Word and keep my trust where it belongs!
We did "mouth" "I love you" to each other shortly after I got there this morning. Pete, Eric, and Isaac were there and the boys told me he kept saying "Mom" like he wondered where I was. I'll definitely get there sooner in the morning.
He also had a bit of an episode with his oxygen about six tonight. First, I didn't like the way the Aide had rolled him around with that "time bomb" clotted arm!! And when she settled him on that side, it did NOT look comfortable, but short of removing the pillows from under his other side, I was afraid to move his arm into a more comfortable position. Finally, I asked him if he hurt and he squeezed "yes." I asked him about his head and legs and his answers were "no." When I got to the arms, he indicated the right arm hurt...and he did want meds. I rang for the nurse, but before she came his oxygen buzzer started ringing....and his stats went down to 77! I went out to the nurse's station to get someone. I still can't believe they didn't come when I rang, or when his buzzer went off...by now, several times.
The (day) nurse and (day) RT came...and called the doctor. While they were trying all kinds of things, the phone rang, and it was the doctor. He told me he had told them a few things to try, and then proceeded to talk me "out of" taking him off DNR. We had agreed to DNR before he woke up at all, but said then that if he woke up and was "there" we wanted to remove it. We were assured that would be a "whole other ball game." But now while I am standing by Stan's bed holding his hand and watching his Oxygen level #s stay at 84 and below...no matter what the gals did... It was hard to concentrate on such an important decision over the phone or even listen as carefully as I needed to. In his defense, I suppose he didn't realize I was right in the center of the action!
After at least 30 minutes, 3 or 4 rough suctionings, a bagging, raising his oxygen to 100%, and I don't know what all else, one of the two decided to check his finger probe. It was on askew...as soon as it was corrected, his levels went up to 99! HELLO....that is definitely what I will check FIRST from now on!! The bagging and deep suctioning is hard on him! Maybe that is why he was so sound asleep for the rest of the time I was there. The nurse agreed with me that he was NOT comfortable the way he was lying, so she removed the pillows and we eased him onto his back.
Yesterday he started doing some funny breathing... kind of like the hiccups...but different. The RT last night (Friday) watched for quite awhile, and said she could not figure out what was going on. I told her he had done this twice during the day (Friday) but that the only thing similar was the hiccups he had while on the ventilator...before the trach. Each time after being suctioned, this stopped. So she suctioned, and VOILA ... it stopped again.
He started this again tonight after the heart rate drop started. The (night) RT came in, got worried first about the heart rate and went for the nurse. The (night) nurse came in and told me that she had called the doctor again, and as long as his BP stayed good and the heart rate didn't "stay" in the 40s, not to worry and he'd reassess him in the morning.
Then the RT came back and addressed the funny "double breathing" or hiccups, or whatever. I told her about the suctioning solution, but kind of hated to as he'd been through that so much already. But she did suction him, and again VOILA ... it stopped. She also had no idea what it is or what causes it. She said he was a bit "wheezy" in his chest and thought maybe that was it. ???? who knows.
So when I did leave tonight he was NOT "hiccuping," was sound asleep, and had a good BP, and his heart rate was mostly staying in the 60s.
Last night (Friday) the RT on duty also works at Regional. She said lots of the nurses were asking about him, and she wanted my permission to tell them. I gave her a huge "thumbs up." I had been wanting to let them know how he is progressing.... eyes open, saying words, nodding and shaking his head, and now even reaching with his right hand. And even throwing kisses!!! They will be so excited.
The doctor did say he would be glad to talk to the boys at 10 or 11 in the morning about the DNR if they wanted. I have talked to them and think I know what they want now. After he told me how really horrible Coding is, and Pete having witnessed it before and confirming what the doctor said... we will probably leave him with the DNR status. The doctor did say to me that if we took him OFF and he coded and we were in the room, he would not let us leave, but we would have to watch every thing he would have to do. He emphasized that if Stan coded, it would be because something catastrophic happened to him....like a clot to the lung or another bleed.
We are now up to 129 individual visitors.....most have come several times...but since we didn't keep track of who comes how often, I can't even guess at the number of VISITS he has had!!
It is "to bed" for me now. It is 3 a.m. and I am getting up by 7 for sure........
Love, M
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