Today when I got to the hospital Stan's numbers (those dreaded numbers) were pretty stable ones. His blood pressure stays persnickety....one med will work for a while and then they have to try something else, and then something else. It really wants to climb too high. It is often the reason for some pain meds or other sedation help. His oxygen is staying pretty good....but only because of the meds that calm him or ease pain....or whatever is causing him to get agitated. We did find out some rather devastating news today. They are testing all his secretions (sputnum, blood, urine, bowel) for infection. So far the only culture that has grown enough to check is the sputnum...and he has staph there. We are praying fervently that it won't be the "mercer" type (I have no idea if that is spelled correctly). He is now in "isolation" so we have to put on a gown and gloves to enter his room.
Just before that was decreed, I was in rubbing his legs. His calves and knees are so very swollen. I just know if he can feel pain, his knees are giving off plenty. The nurses are doing their best...when I told them how much he needs a pillow between them when he is on his side, they make sure to put one there. He is still being turned from side to side for his lungs. I haven't heard yet about how the collapsed one is doing. They would have to take him back for a CAT scan, I think, to give me a good clue as to whether it is improving, and that is so difficult for him.
There is no response yet, but because he keeps getting some pain meds or sedation meds, he isn't waking up enough to really respond to us. They are hoping to be able to get an EEG on Monday to show his brain activity. That will tell us more about when to expect what.
Another testimony to my wonderful family....a co worker of Angie's came to the hospital with prayers and flowers. She had never met me or Stan, but cared enough for Angie to do this. It was an interesting little event. This couple came in bearing a beautiful bouquet of the pinkest roses I've ever seen. They appeared to be looking for someone, so I asked if I could help. They were looking for the Knowltons!! We visited for at least 20 minutes. They wanted to know where we go to church.
I did invite them, but they said they go to the Korean church. I am not sure if the husband speaks English. An interesting note: they are Korean and last name is Lee. I told them Stan's "main" doctor's last name is Lee.....and he is Oriental, but I wasn't sure what nationality. Lo and behold!!! Here he comes on his day off to see me....so I told him about them and asked him...and he is also Korean. He always mentions God and / or prayer when he is talking to me.
Eric brought me a gift today. I was able to share my "fish" with everyone who came. But they were only allowed to look and hold, but NO eating!! It is a rainbow trout!! Carved from wood, painted to look more real than a real one. It even looks wet!
Uncle Don and Ramona emailed me the 23rd Psalm. I meant to read it to Stan today, but had brought my Bible in from the car to answer a trivia question for Sunday school class, and forgot to pick it back up when I left this morning, so I didn't have it to read from. I did my best to recite it. I know I didn't remember it all....but Stan and God do, so.........!
I may have mentioned yesterday that it has been suggested I sing hymns to him. I am going to leave that up to Phil, and Sara before she leaves. I am quite sure they'd kick me out and ask me to not come back if I tried it. There is enough pain and suffering in CCU already. It is not for me to cause more!!
I don't know what more to tell you. He is still with us, not responding yet, is on the ventilator, feeding tube, cathetar, cooling blanket, and a couple of jillion tubes and wires that are doing their best to fix him for me. It is hard to see him so still. It is hard to not feel his hand squeeze mine. It is especially hard to not hear his voice.....so all of you give your spouses and children and friends.........a great big hug, and tell them how much you love them!!! I got a wonderful email today from a special gal in my life that I want to share. She always seems to know just what to say. She was always blessing me with her prayers and scriptures during and after I lost Julie. It always amazes me that the youngest member of my wedding party has such wisdom and love. For almost my entire 48 years of marriage she has remained a five year old in my mind!!!
I'll attach it here...............and say good night now. All my love, M (Molly, I hope you don't mind my sharing!!)
Madeline, your hospital family reminds me of 1st Peter when he says, “And above all things, have fervent love among yourselves.” People all over the hospital are seeing love at work. This is so important. Love is the greatest virtue, according to 1st Corinthians 13. And love is the greatest command, the Lord Jesus says in Matthew 22 (“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”)
And you are seeing that love is the greatest testimony. It’s not your neatly ironed blouse or the car you drive that’s making all those people at the hospital sit up and take notice. They’re waking up and seeing that you guys really ARE the church of Christ. They’re seeing you love God and they’re seeing you love others. And nothing can motivate a lost sinner like the heartfelt love of Jesus. I’m praying you’ll all draw upon the grace and strength of God to keep this up.
And I'm praying for Stan, my dear friend.
Best love,
Molly
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