Day 14

It has now been two full weeks since Stan's stroke. For me, it is like time is suspended. I do want to tell you all how very much you mean to me... Your prayers, emails, thoughts, visits, etc.... Since I haven't had to go this journey alone, having you all with me, I can't imagine what it would be like to do so. I just want you to know how very much your love means, and how much it helps. I am keeping a log of all this...to share with Stan when he is well.

Today was a panicky day. I did leave the hospital tonight feeling a little less scared and stressed. I spent most of the day with a very tight, hurting abdomen....
It is that horrible number thing again. I spent literally hours standing by his bed watching and praying and hoping for .....would you BELIEVE! HIGHER blood pressure numbers. (I guess I am just never satisfied!!)

When I got to the hospital I was not allowed to see him for over an hour because he was undergoing a procedure to remove fluid from around his lungs. When I was told the name of it, I sat out there and was concerned because I recognized it as a word Julie mentioned often that I could never say (and still can't...but I'll do my best) and tried to remember just what it meant. I finally thought I knew that it was the procedure they did on her when they put the drainage tube in her chest area. I was "close" but it wasn't that procedure, but instead it was a month earlier when they "tapped" her for fluid....they put a needle into the chest area to draw out fluid. I seem to remember being amazed and rather horrified at the amount they removed from her. Today they drew off one liter from around Stan's left lung, and one and one half liters from around his right lung. That is over a half gallon of fluid!

But after a night of extremely low oxygen levels, something had to be done, and this has made a big difference in his oxygen. Those numbers are miraculous, but his blood pressure has been dangerously low. I watched for hours while the numbers just would not rise above the 80s and were mostly in the 70s. I wanted to go out and call someone to get everyone praying at the same moment, but didn't want to leave him. I did go out for a second to do what must be done, and called Andy. I guess his call to Pete sent Pete to his phone, and there was an instant prayer service started. Thank you!!

There has been some pretty "straightforward" talk to me today from a couple of doctors. They are not giving up, but I was told I should be prepared to make some difficult decisions if the moment arrives. I was also hugged by Dr. Lee twice and he assured me that he was praying for Stan. He rotates out, but he told me he was not abandoning me, but now would have even more time to pray for Stan.

Besides the "thorendisis" (not even close, but I left my notebook in the car....where I tried to write it phonetically while it was fresh in my mind.. it is the draining).... he has had specimens drawn of his blood, urine, and sputum for a new culture. He has had a major "line" changed from his neck to into an arm and up and into his chest area. His cathetar has been changed. His staples have been removed from his head. He has had his head shook again, his fingers pricked every hour for blood sugar testing, a chest x-ray, and a multitude of other things going on, so that it seemed an endless bus-i-ness around his bedside all day. The nurse has been terrific (they all are) but there are things about her..... i.e. the RT on call commented how great it was that she was heads up and insistent on this draining thing. She was instrumental in getting the radiologist who was seeing a patient in the clinic to come STAT because Stan was critical....and put her "neck on the line" by having the procedure done and getting me to sign permission after the fact.

Whatever God's decision is for Stan, I know He has given him really wonderful, efficient, and knowledgeable caregivers.

There is probably more I should remember about today, but it is a lot of a blur of numbers. Stan is being kept in a coma like state again, and they said he probably will be for 2 or 3 days to keep him from having to "work" and so give his lungs a chance to heal. He won't be opening his eyes again until he is allowed to wake up, I am sure. But it actually turns out that both his day nurse and the night nurse saw him open his eyes....this is TWO distinct times. I WANT to see it, too!!
He won't have a CAT scan until he is stable enough, and he won't get a trach until he is much better.....the doctor said he would not survive the surgery.

When we got to see him before coming home tonight his numbers were all good numbers, but also all "manufactured" numbers....but whatever or however they arrived, they were so much better than all day. His BP was pretty steady between 110 and 120!! (top number...the bottom number has stayed between 40 and 55).

An IBEW friend was in his room with me for a while and said it looked like a very poor plumbing apprentice had been at work on Stan....in reference to all the tubes! LOL

I am going to once again attach a note from my Molly.........

God bless each of you in a special way today!!
Love, M

Good morning, Madeline. Probably good evening, right? By the time you start reading emails, it's probably pretty late.

I've been praying through Psalm 34 for you and Stan. Oh magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together! The angel of the Lord is encamping around you. You thought you were spending time in a hospital, but it's not. It's a camp ground. The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and His ears toward their cry. When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

His eyes are on you - He sees things that are hidden to you. His ear is listening to you. His ears are toward your cry - like someone who is leaning over, cupping their hand behind their ear, to make sure they hear every word. The Lord is near. The Lord is near.

Madeline, I've asked you this before but I can't remember what you said. When you were in school in Monmouth, did you go to the First Christian Church? I got a call last night from the pastor's wife, and she asked me to come and speak at their ladies' Christmas event and give the Gospel. It's on December 12th.

There are probably a lot of people in Oregon praying for you - I'm one of them, dear girl.

Love,
Molly